He who walks with wise men will become wise. Prov 13:20
“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are. “Birds of a feather do flock together.” “Association brings about assimilation.” If you walk with fools you’ll become foolish, or walk with the wise and become wiser. If you run with wolves, you learn to howl, but fly with eagles, and you learn to soar high above the clouds.
The simple fact of life is that you become like those with whom you spend your time – for better or worse. Your friends will either inspire you to rise up and soar, or stay down and howl. Your friends will either stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you.
Your relationships are a prophetic portrait of who you are becoming. Therefore, if you desire to go into your next level, seriously consider those with whom you give your time and attention. If you want to go to a place you’ve never been, you must develop relationships you never had.
As you grow, your relationships change. Therefore, develop relationships based on, not just where you’ve been, but on where you’re going. Old relationships may not be beneficial today. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It just means you’ve chosen to go in a direction they are not willing to go. Practice this important attribute of successful people. Do not waste time on negative people who do not want to change! How can two walk together except they agree?
People are inclined to continue relationships with whom they are familiar and comfortable. However, as you grow, some will become uncomfortable around you. These do not want to change, and neither do they want you to change. Therefore, evaluate your relationships and recognize those who are hindering your growth. Identify ways love them all, but give more time and attention to those who are going in the same direction as you.
Develop a plan to properly evaluate the people in your life. Clinging to past relationships that are not moving in the same direction will hold you back. Therefore seek relationships with those who are going in the same direction, or either they are ahead of you in getting there. Like geese flying in a “V” formation, associating with others moving in the same direction increases your momentum in getting to your destination.
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There is a level of fear and discomfort in venturing out and meeting others because you don’t know what to expect. You don’t know if they will accept you or not. You may fear rejection. You may not know how to act. However, as you associate with them, you become more like them. If they’re moving toward greater levels of success, you’ll move with them.
Observe the relationships around you. Which ones inspire you and which ones drain you? Who are those you can help and who are those who hinder you? Which ones encourage you and which ones discourage you? Which ones are going uphill and which ones are going downhill? Which ones have drama and confusion, and which ones bring progress and prosperity? Which ones want to keep you the way you are, and which ones challenge you to grow?
Periodically evaluating relationships are essential for growth. These five things will help you.
1. Develop a clear vision of how your success looks and where you desire to go.
2. Disengage from those who do not have similar desires, nor are they headed in the same direction. Disengaging is not easy.
3. Connect with those who are going in the direction you desire to go, or are a little ahead of you in getting there.
4. Practice giving something of value to build relations with those you desire in your life.
5. Periodically re-evaluate your relationships for engaging and disengaging with those you need and those you may not need in your life. Use relationships to gain momentum in your life.
